You know you're in India when

You know you're in India when:

You don't bother setting the clock on the oven.

You occasionally stop and try to figure out what's wrong, because you haven't heard a horn in a few minutes.

The oil is "very less" in the pot.

You are "here only."

Things happen "on Thursday, itself."

You "do the needful."

You tell your taxi to just go, "I am knowing." Then you tell them to turn using "Lefta" and "Righta."

You hit a ball into the "port" when playing snooker.

You play snowball, instead of bowling.

You're invited to attend a marriage.

You "have a doubt," instead of a question.

You "return to your native place" to visit relatives. 

Finally, you're heading "out of station" for the weekend.

Although these two stories don't really fit the theme, I don't think they support their own post, so I'll add them here.

I was waiting in line at a hotel currency exchange counter, to break a 1000 Rs note into smaller change. One of my locally employed staff walked right past me, interrupted the guy working the counter and asked for change. The man stopped helping the person he was helping, and doled out the change. As explanation, I was laughingly told, "this isn't the US, you don't form a queue!"

For one of the VIP visits, we were doing an "ice breaker" game after one of the team meetings. The game consisted of the leader reading off two options, and people separating to sides of the room, based on their preference. When the question "Would you rather never listen to music again or never watch TV again?" came up, one the locals leaned over to me and asked, "How can you listen to music without a TV?" I laughed, but quickly realized that he was serious. It makes sense, "pop music" in India almost (if not completely) exclusively comes from TV and movies.